Moving is on the list of life’s most stressful events. At the same time it opens a wonderful window into the amount of attachment we have to the cumulative sense of security we’ve built up around our shelter. Pulling all of these visible and invisible roots up with the finality of a move invites a fascinating torrent of emotions, similar to death; the ultimate abandonment.
A paradigm shift in perception can open a profound glimpse into seeing more clearly the suddenly fading reference points that we’ve held dear until moving day to buttress our definition of who we think we are. But on moving day, as in death, all of these rugs are pulled out from under our feet.
Saying goodbye to the ambience that has brought us joy, goodbye to the dear friends and acquaintenances that have brought us comfort, goodbye to being loyal to our own anger at the behavior of a certain neighbor, goodbye to the antagonist-protagonist battles that these walls have heard us fight so bravely, goodbye to so many wonderful and painful memories, goodbye to old relationships, goodbye to all in this shelter that has made us feel secure.
This usually invites confusion, discomfort, chaos, and aversion. The natural tendency is to hate moving and to want it to be over as soon as possible. In desperately grasping after creating a new order without the interest in fully opening to the truth of this groundlessness, we so often trample over the many pearls of wisdom we have invited by deciding to move.
I would like to suggest another approach. Just as when we face our own death, we must take off all of our masks and say goodbye to everything and everyone we’ve held dear, even our own self; in a similar way, moving one’s home is an invitation to learn from the underlying currents which have raised their heads. So instead of anxiously awaiting for the prize of the new house to appear and living in the song of tomorrow’s sweet delusion, I believe that if we give space to, honor, and deeply listen to the textures of the chaos and seeming temporary insanity, then a doorway to greater freedom can be revealed in the eye of the storm of moving one’s home.
Thoughts by Stu Miller, Spring 2010